i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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