your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize