mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
