stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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