there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
