And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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