he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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