the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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