don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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