we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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