i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize