just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
