i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
