anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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