Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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