with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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