vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
