Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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