Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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