I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
