I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
