How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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