How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Help. Why am I so naked?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
