I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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