He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
