Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
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he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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