My cat gives me a boner
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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