I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
