I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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