i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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