if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wish i was in the wii world.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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