also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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