In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
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Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize