If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
