Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
