Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
