Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
