I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
