Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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