So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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