I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
