just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I party with great urgency now.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
