I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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