Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
