I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So apparently I’m into choking now
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