I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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