remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
