she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
