I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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