Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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