i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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