How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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