youre lurking in front of me
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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