i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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