What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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