im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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