Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.

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  (301): He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex. http://tfl.nu/9ztc
  Replies (17) Good night (647) Bad night (2578) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i think i have two assholes

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  (330): i think i have two assholes http://tfl.nu/b4sn
  Replies (67) Good night (680) Bad night (4474) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.

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  (253): I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you. http://tfl.nu/clvu
  Replies (17) Good night (2562) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty

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  (865): she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty http://tfl.nu/c438
  Replies (22) Good night (5777) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.

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  (832): Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me. http://tfl.nu/ewf1
  Replies (26) Good night (4091) Bad night (978)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.

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  (732): I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college. http://tfl.nu/q6b4
  Replies (13) Good night (627) Bad night (3668) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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  (207): hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either. http://tfl.nu/vb3y
  Replies (47) Good night (6207) Bad night (1492)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...

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  (303): You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike... http://tfl.nu/i5zc
  Replies (7) Good night (875) Bad night (1994) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..

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  (724): I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star.. http://tfl.nu/hv80
  Replies (9) Good night (2075) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...

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  (262): By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire... http://tfl.nu/1iat
  Replies (5) Good night (1466) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.

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  (330): He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet. http://tfl.nu/wg57
  Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.

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  (714): After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain. http://tfl.nu/appx
  Replies (8) Good night (452) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries

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  (423): So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries http://tfl.nu/0e3x
  Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."

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  (716): he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...." http://tfl.nu/2b45
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (1601) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.

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  (707): Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point. http://tfl.nu/74cc
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt

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