so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
