He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
