So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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